The Wife With No Faith

A few conversations in my household recently.

On Kitchen Appliances:

Man (to me): I'm just loading up and am going to run the dishwasher.

Me (Incredulous): You need to put a tab in it - they're in a box in the cupboard under the sink.

Man: I know....Actually I thought I'd economise and leave the tab out.

On borrowing items from my office at home:

Man (to me): Can I just borrow your scissors?

Me: Yes, but only as long as you bring them back.

Man: Well - no - frankly... I was just going to take them away and bury them in the garden when I'd finished with them.