Ski Dog

I'd like to introduce you to our latest family member - Ski Dog - who resides in FirstBorn's room.

FirstBorn spent the Winter season in Serre Chevalier in France this last Winter Season. His ski-ing - is by all accounts - now very good indeed! (Stunning in fact!).

Man - who originally taught FirstBorn to ski when he was a complete new starter was hugely impressed by FirstBorn's ski-ing progress - but not surprised!


Yes - FirstBorn is home - although only temporarily - he's off soon to Julie Andrews climes - working in Austria on walking holidays and will soon be Lighting the Hills with the Sound of Music...Well...You know what I mean...

Who Let Her Loose With That Phone?

My adventures with my new Nokia 6300 continue.

I have been having problems with my computer over the weekend, basically I think one of the fans has crapped out. My friend Jeremy built the computer for me and does the maintenance when it goes wrong.

I decided to send him a text to see if he was free in this coming week to fix the fan problem. The texts went like this....

From Jane to Jeremy: Can gen ga

I then realised predictive text wasn't working, tried to go backspace to fix the words and - unfortunately - pressed the wrong buttons and ended up just sending the text above as it was to Jeremy.

Jeremy to Jane [reply]: Predictive text perchance? Doesn't bleedin work!

Jane to Jeremy: Can you send back to owe what i sent Pg foot have a record but sin sure its funny

Jeremy to Jane [reply]: You need to disable the predictive text

Jane to Jeremy: Foot throw away the prevismus two messages id like to clog them

Jeremy to Jane [reply]: More Esperanto.....

Jane to Jeremy: Sorry I was trying to text you about my computer but hue grou this new shrone and its hard to use LJx

I didn't get any more replies! Do you balme him?

The Local Elections - YOUR VOTE COUNTS!!

Tonight's the night. Go out there and vote. Your vote counts! Here are your choices!...

THE MUSIC PARTY

Led by Flash Green.


The player of the Pink Oboe.

OUR POLICIES:

International Relations:

We will declare war on countries that we don't like (and yes - France - you're next!)

Local Finances:

We will increase the retirement (pensionable) age to 110 to keep taxes down.

Housing:

We will build houses in people's back gardens, in order to preserve the Green Belt.

Environment:

We will ban Farting in order to reduce Greenhouse Gas.

Education:

We will introduce 'fees for schools' vouchers scheme, where everyone buying from Tesco gets discount vouchers towards the tuition fees of the local school of their choice.

THE PICTURE PARTY

Led by 'Call Me Dave' Photograph. The Right's Left-Hand Man.

OUR POLICIES:

International Relations:

We will support the Wars declared by the Music Party, because we wish we'd thought of it first

Local Finances:

We will cut services to those aged 110 or over - because they are a drain on our resources, and to keep the council tax down.

Housing:

We will build houses in the back gardens of people who live on Council Estates - because they are nowhere near a Green Belt.

Environment:

We will privatise Farting, and wardens will be appointed to preserve people's freedom to Fart in appointed areas between allotted hours.

Education:

We will introduce a 'fees for schools' scheme where everyone can pay for their children to be educated (isn't that what eveyone does anyway?.......)

THE CHINA PARTY

Led by Ming Vase, preserved for over 2,000 years.

OUR POLICIES:

International Relations:

We will stand outside Starbucks wearing sandwich boards to protest against the wars and America's presence in Eye-Raq.

Local Finances:

We will abolish council tax and - instead - introduce compulsory euthanasia for anyone over 110 years old, or who supports the Photograph Party. This is to prevent the elderly from being a drain on our constrained local resources.

Housing:

The Green Belt is a China Party achievement - And we intend to build on it!

Environment:

We don't Fart.

Education:

We will stand outside Starbucks wearing sandwich boards to protest for free Educashun for all.