How To Disappoint A Man

It was a wet, rainy Wednesday evening in Suburbia.

Man is enjoying a couple of beers that he bought from the off-licence on his way home from work.

Man: “These beers are going down really well. I’m on my last one. The trouble with these Beck’s is that they’re smaller – and don’t last very long.”

Woman: “Why are they smaller? Are they World Cup specials or something?”

Man: (Groans inwardly): “No, this is nothing to do with the World
Cup – Beck’s are always smaller – only 275ml – decent beers have bigger bottles”.

Woman: “Don’t worry. I know you told me not to buy you beers when I went shopping because you wanted to cut down – but I ignored you anyway – and bought you some Beck’s from Sainsbury’s when I went shopping today.”

Man: (Hopefully): “Oh thanks. Where are they?”

Woman: (Helpfully): “I bought on-line. Sainsbury’s will be delivering them on Friday afternoon."

THE EPIBLOGUE

To finish the job off properly ... Sainsbury's delivered Beck's Alcohol Free beer ...

For Hospital Use Only

Sorry about radio silence from me – I have been in hospital since just before Easter. I was admitted via A&E with angina.


The angina attacks came totally out of the blue – all on one day and without warning. I had no idea whatsoever that I had a heart condition.

God has given me a Yellow card. For too long I have been working too hard, playing too hard and not exercising enough (apparently watching sport doesn’t count).

My main artery to the heart (the LAD) has a blockage. I’m currently stable – thanks to drugs (ooohhhh…..candy!!!) – but need bypass surgery.

I have been allowed home temporarily while awaiting the heart surgery – I’m going to have a relatively new procedure, a bypass using robotic techniques to be done by Mr Roberto Casula, the pioneer of this operation in the UK, and I feel very privileged to have the UK’s expert on this technique doing my operation – and on the NHS! What a fantastic institution.

My operation was originally scheduled for this week but has now been deferred until mid-June as there are some patients more urgent than me that need to be done first – which is fair enough. So this means I get to watch Big Brother live on TV over the next few weeks – along with the delightful birdsong that replaces the dialogue - but will miss crucial World Cup matches and the Stella Artois tennis. God also has a sense of humour.

I shall be off work for the foreseeable future – probably until late Summer / early Autumn.

I did consider blogging the diary I kept during my hospital stay, detailing all my tests, injections, my fellow patients etc. – but changed my mind – a bit gruesome, especially the fellow patients stuff.

But - PJA from Mordor took a photo of a spectacular bruise on my arm from a Fragmin injection (it’s not meant to be given in the arm). It’s a bruise that Thrace would be proud of.

Have you still got the piccie PJA? What say you – shall we publish it?